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Naked Yoga Fantasy?

Never in recorded history have so many read so much and found so little.

Please allow me to apologize to the memory of Winston Churchill for this crude paraphrase....but when it comes to the much ballyhooed-naked yoga there is so much sizzle, so little steak.

A quick Google search reveals (no pun intended) 4.2 million mentions of "Naked Yoga" including even a Wikipedia definition http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naked_yoga stating that the practice is becoming popular in Western societies. Really?

Certainly, there are oodles of websites and presumably places for gay male "Hot Nude Yoga.".....Good for them, but what about women and straight males?

In many ways, the Naked Yoga phenomenon got off the ground with super coverage of co-ed Naked Yoga classes http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/05/24/DDG9FCSNDS1.DTL at the One Taste Urban Retreat Center in trendy San Francisco www.onetastesf.com. Alas, One Taste didn't want to be the "Naked Yoga" place and the program was abandoned and slow sex and orgasmic meditation classes took its place.

There are still outposts where one can find coed-nude yoga including the Phoenix Temple in downtown Manhattan www.nakedyoganyc.com with classes on Monday nights and Friday lunchtimes and also in Austin, Texas www.austinnakedyoga.com

The biggest issue as always is gender balance. Most conventional yoga classes...there are an estimated 16.5 million yoga practitioners in the US....are weighted to the female of the species. Not true for Naked Yoga.

Writing for the Austinist, a Central Texas on-line publication, http://austinist.com/2009/07/29/hello_my_name_is.php an unidentified female wrote about her trepidations and pleasant surprises about taking naked yoga. "Maybe heightened awareness due to my nakedness made this realization so intense, or maybe it would have had the same effect even if I were clothed," she wrote. "I don't know, but it felt like an epiphany. It was about so much more than yoga: the balance of effort and ease, of lightness and heaviness... It was so thought-provoking that I completely forgot I was naked."

And the end analysis?

"I waved goodbye to Naked Men Numbers One and Two and sat in my car for a good ten minutes before I felt balanced enough to drive," she wrote. "On the way home, I did a quick cost-benefit analysis of the whole experience, and believe it or not, the proswon out. Or maybe that was just the chai talking."

And no story would be complete without the box score. Gender: 18 males; 5 females; Likelihood I would do it again, 7.5 out of 10; Average penis size, average and most awkward naked yoga pose: happy baby http://www.tracis.info/tracis.info.pictures/Happy%20Baby%20Pose.jpg

So Godiva must ask....Can we save Naked Yoga? Can we ever expected real gender balance? Should we restrict the number of males participating in a co-ed class? Should we even care? Inquiring minds would like to know.

Nude at Size 12-14?

Never in recorded history have so many said so much about a....little tummy.

One of the real feel-good stories of the soon-to-be-over, downer-of-a-year, 2009, is the Glamour magazine photo of a very confident and very nude Lizzie Miller www.glamour.com

So what's the big deal about a drop-dead gorgeous, 20-year-old blonde model in Glamour magazine? Aren't they a dime a dozen? The difference here is that Lizzie is 5'11", weighs 180 pounds and has a little tummy that was not air brushed. She is a size 12-14, not the skin and bones, size two look of most cadaverous Glamour models.http://www.inquisitr.com/34194/glamour-model-lizzie-miller-shocks-readers-by-not-being-airbrushed/

“When I read them I got teary-eyed!” she says. “I’ve been that girl, flipping through magazines trying to find just one person who looked a little bit like me. And when I didn’t find it I would start to think there’s something wrong with the way that I looked. When J. Lo and Beyoncé came out and were making curves sexy, I started to accept myself more. It’s funny, but just seeing them look and feel sexy enabled me to do the same.”

The result of this new thinking and confidence is obvious. Google lists more than 3.7 million pages devoted to Lizzie. She had drawn attention from newspapers all over the globe to the recent NBC's Today Show interview with Matt Lauerhttp://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/blogs/vitamin-g/2009/08/on-the-cl-more-body-image-brou.html.

The immediate positive reaction by Lizzie's photo is that it should promote a better feeling of body acceptance by literally millions of normal women. Sorry, not everyone is a "Barbie" doll. Instead of concentrating on bothersome parts, such as "mummy tummies," maybe women will consider themselves as a whole be less critical....or maybe pigs will fly?

Now does this result suggest that we all should just accept ourselves and not do anything to improve our bodies? That is hopefully not how the message is being received....We should do everything within reason (e.g moderate daily exercise, sensible diet, sufficient sleep). And if we reach our body potential, then why shouldn't we show our bodies and enjoy our bodies in a safe and secure nude setting?

Lizzie Miller should be seen as a hero to nudists around the globe, especially those from the female side of the great gender divide.

G-String Contest Overreaction?

Did the American Association for Nude Recreation www.aanr.com go too far in suspending Florida's Paradise Lakes Resort www.paradiselakesresort.com?

The crime you ask, promoting a g-string contest endorsed by Penthouse magazine http://suncoastpasco.tbo.com/content/2009/aug/22/pa-g-string-contest-brings-trouble-to-paradise/

Maybe the management at Paradise Lakes is guilty of being a little tacky and objectifying the female form (as if that has never happened before?), but do they need to have their membership taken away? For the record, Paradise Lakes withdrew its membership....but the point is still the same.

The AANR's suspension of Paradise Lakes comes one year after a similar crackdown on the neighboring Caliente Resort www.calienteresorts.com for trying to reach out to the swinger community to raise more nude revenues.

Godiva can understand AANR's concern with the obvious perception problems associated with a too close association between so-called lifestylers and true blue nudists, who just enjoy sunning and swimming without annoying swimsuits......but coming out with both barrels blazing for a g-string contest?

When Caliente withdrew from AANR, Caliente's marketing queen Angye Fox said the resort was "taking advantage of educating the next generation, the 20- and 30-somethings on social nudism. AANR hasn't done a good job of targeting those folks."

She's right on this point. The AANR needs to get away from sending out a monthly newspaper to members. That is so.....19th century. It's time for New Media (blogging, podcasting and online video), let's get with the program.

It should not be lost on readers that the AANR has now come down on two of Florida's really upscale nudist resorts. There are very few four-star and above nudist resorts in the U.S. They are precious. We should be looking for more ways to support them in their quest to just to stay in business. Suspending a key member for a g-string contest seems like the punishment is worse than the crime.

Nude Heidi Montag?

Just kidding.....

What's unfortunate was that Playboy www.playboy.com was just kidding too.

They put "The Hills" reality star Heidi Montag on the cover, promoting her pictorial/interview and naturally the expectations are that we will see Heidi au naturel.....but "nooooooooooo....." this was just a tease. And you wonder why Playboy is in trouble financially?

MSN Money is astounded how anyone can lose gobs of money selling nude photos of beautiful women, adding that Playboy has become "shockingly tame." http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/CompanyFocus/playboy-is-the-bunny-a-bargain.aspx

Playboy has made a fortune over the years of posing and displaying beautiful celebrities to millions of grateful men, who found out what Cindy Crawford, Ellie Macpherson, Katarina Witt, Ursula Andress, Jenny McCarthy, Pamela Anderson and others looked like without any clothes. Don't you think the same desire would apply to Heidi Montag?

Now, if Heidi does not want to pose in the nude for religious or conservative political reasons that is her choice and naturally Godiva respects that.....but then she shouldn't be in Playboy.....Maxim or Good Housekeeping would be logical alternatives.

Maybe Playboy could convince Madeline Albright to pose in a Lanz nightie?....Conceivably, I should withdraw that chide; they may take me seriously.

What is it with this trend of outlets that celebrate nudity are opting for more photos with clothed models? Take the new website for Caliente Resorts www.calienteresorts.com in the Dominican Republic and the Tampa Bay area of Florida. There are just as many marketing photos with clothed models as those who wear no clothes....and aren't these nudist resorts?

Before we hit Playboy with both barrels, let's give them credit for a super pictorial in the same September issue of breathtaking AVP volleyball princesses, Michelle More and Suzanne Stonebarger. They are buffed, fit and gorgeous in their birthday suits shot on a California beach. This is the essence of nude recreation, and why everyone should give nudity a try at least once in their life.

Playboy founder Hugh Hefner was a daring pioneer by introducing a men's magazine that celebrated the unadorned female form and convinced many of the most alluring women in the world to bare it all. The magazine would be well served to go back to its roots with even more baring and less teasing.

Nude Public Relations Disaster

Godiva was wincing in pain watching the "Culture Warriors" http://www.foxnews.com/oreilly/segment of the O'Reilly factor last night.

And whether you count down the minutes until the program airs each night or absolutely detest Fox News is irrelevant. The O'Reilly factor broadcast twice each night at 8 pm and 11 pm EDT is the number one rated cable news show in the business by a wide margin.

That is exactly why the impact of a very damaging segment on an Oregon City woman by the name of "Rae" is so hurtful to those who enjoy nude recreation or just living life without clothes. The fault is not with O'Reilly, his producers or his two "culture warrior" analysts, instead it lies with Rae and all of those naked rebels who give nudity a public black eye.

She insists on washing her car and gardening in the front yard sans clothes. She has checked with the cops and to no surprise there is no Oregon law preventing public nudity. Her neighbors with small children are predictably not so sanguine.

Maybe Godiva is starting to sound like a broken record (dating myself), but there is a time-and-place rule when it comes to nude recreation. The Naturist Society http://www.naturistsociety.com/ understands this informal requirement as it has always advocated proper signage to separate textile beaches and ocean strands where birthday suits are allowed, such as Haulover Beach in Florida http://sffb.com/

Certainly Rae is within her rights to parade about butt naked, particularly in granola crunching Oregon, but what is the damage to the reputation of backyard nudists? Let's face it, guilt by association is a time-honored contact sport in American politics.

The collateral damage of Rae's antics broadcast to millions by Fox News is the public reputation of people who want to enjoy the fleeting days of summer in their birthday suits. No wonder grandma doesn't approve. 

Nude Freakinization?

Is organized and relatively unorganized nudism an unmitigated public relations disaster?

Godiva poses this question today upon reading a recent Reuters piece http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSTRE56N2QR20090724 "The World's Top Five Nude Events." They include riding bikes in the buff on downtown streets, running naked with bulls and watching the burning of a huge wood man in your birthday suit.

In and of themselves, these "activities" appear to be harmless and maybe even amusing....but do they advance the cause of gaining greater public acceptance of those who just want to enjoy more of life sans clothes?

Reuters listed five "events" in its Top Five. The envelope please......

1.) The World Naked Bike Ride http://www.worldnakedbikeride.org/ promotes organized nude city bike rides with generally leftist political overtones. Is this activity harmful? No. Does it contribute to the "freakinization" of nudists? Sure does.

2.) AANR World Record Skinny Dip www.aanr.com set a baseline Guinness Book of World Records designation for 12,000 simultaneously skinny dipping at nudist and clothing optional resorts and clubs throughout the nation. Did this event advance the PR cause of nudists? Godiva believes this one was positive because it was controlled and occurred in places where nudism is permitted and sanctioned.

3.) Nude Beach Olympics, Maslin Beach, Australia http://www.2camels.com/nude-beach-olympics.php includes the "best bum" competition and "three-legged races." This call can be made in two nanoseconds....sorry, this one aides and abets the freakinization of nudists.

4.) Running of the Nudes, Pamplona, Spain http://www.runningofthenudes.com/....Ahhhhh....PETA and nudists in the same sentence? Everyone agrees that the overall sentiments of PETA are sound, protecting animals...but running naked in the streets of very Catholic, conservative Spain? That country has made tremendous strides toward accepting nudism with some great resorts www.costanatura.com and www.veraplaya.info, but to suggest that running around in your birthday suit in Pamplona is over the top is an understatement.

5.) Burning Man in the Nevada Desert http://www.burningman.com/....Nuff said. Some see Burning Man is a celestial celebration of epic proportions; others are not so charitable. So why not strut your naked stuff in the Nevada desert? The tumble weeds won't mind.

Back to the original premise. Do these nude athletic events contribute to the freakinization of nudists? In four of the five examples offered by Reuters, Godiva believes the answer is yes. What is really unfortunate is that Reuters did not examine the great nude water volleyball games at Desert Sun Resort www.desertsunresort.com in Palm Springs, the naked tennis tournaments at Caliente www.calienteresort.com in Florida or the clothes free para sailing and kayaking at Club Orient www.cluborient.com in St. Martin......Are these people freaks of nature?

Nude at Home?

There is a time and place for everything, and most of all that applies to nudity.

Despite the antics of naked daredevils, this author knows that society as a whole will never accept being butt naked in public...and that is a good thing. This is especially true in traditionally conservative cultures such as the USofA.

But what about being nude at home? We have explored backyard nudity and came to the conclusion that unless the neighbors are being given an unintended show of body parts that the home is the time and the place. However does this time and place rule apply to young children (always and with good reason a very sensitive subject).

The New York Times today published a major examination of this subject http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/16/garden/16nudity.html?_r=1&ref=health and the story was not surprisingly inconclusive.

Are children natural nudists? Without question.

Should parents regulate the behavior of their children? Absolutely.

Should parents encourage children to see their bodies as healthy vessels deserving of respect? Some will disagree, but the answer should be "yes."

Should society be on guard against pedophilia? Yes, yes and throw away the key!

Should we adopt a time and place rule taking into account the presence of other children and adults and make sure that children clearly understand these limitations? Yep.

It's time to make the call. If the time and place are proper, and the child is taught what is proper and what is not, then why not teach the first lesson of body acceptance and body potential?

It's never too early to develop the next generations of healthy, happy, well-adjusted nudists.  

Nude Women's Perspective

Nancy Tiemann, Bare-Necessities Tour and Travel president, has every reason in the world to be a cheerleader for nude recreation.

After all, her company sponsors two or three clothing optional cruises per year and she needs to put (literally) butts in cabins, sun decks and lounge chairs even in a crummy economy.

And she knows the vast majority of these au naturel travelers, whether to the Greek Isles, Caribbean, Tahiti etc. are couples. And if the "Mrs." isn't happy, then no one is happy. So Nancy devoted her online-essay to the real decision maker about nude cruising.....the prettier half of the couple. http://www.bare-necessities.com/why_nude.html

She is not bashful about going after the most common misconception about public nudity: sex.

"And what about the sex?" she asked. "After all, nude, naked, clothing optional....they're all about sex, aren't they? I would be the first to admit that social nudity can be a sensual experience (author's note: Amen!), particularly at first when the taboo of centuries of puritan values about social modesty are broken with one simple but freeing act of being nude in a social setting.

"We Americans have been trained from childhood that sex is dirty or sinful and nudity means sex. After all, we pay to see nudity, don't we? It's in our movies to titillate us, isn't it? When I am no longer the voyeur, looking in on someone else's nudity, but rather a participant, as nude as everyone else, all that's left is an appreciation for the gift I am given. The gift of knowing that I am ok, exactly the way I am.....perfect in my imperfection."

Not only does Nancy do an excellent job in attacking the nudity concerns of women, but she also confronts a major fear of the knuckle-dragging gender....the fear of very public standing ovations.

"One of the most frequently asked questions by men is, 'What happens if I get an erection?' You know, in 16 years of producing two-or-three cruise ship charters a year; I have never once seen a man succumb to his worse fear - a public erection!," Nancy wrote. "Does that say something about the fantasy of social nudity and its reality? Perhaps."

Nancy then implores her readers to give social nudity a try: "Vacation with us just once, and we'll change the way you vacation forever. All you have to lose are centuries of false conditioning. Believe me, once free of that extra baggage you will be much lighter....and happier, naturally!"

Nude Beauty Queen?

Once again, nudism and nudists are taking another public relations kick in the teeth....and it hurts and it is not deserved.

Godiva has a well-trained nose for politics and personal destruction, and nudity is collateral damage as a consequence. What am I yammering about?

Everyone knows that Miss California Carrie Prejean unleashed a torrent of abuse from the heterophobe community for stating that her opinion on gay marriage is the same as Barack Obama's: She considers marriage to be the sacred covenant between one man and one woman. As we all know, that's when it all started http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/05/07/2009-05-07_court_docs_miss_california_usa_carrie_prejean_used_homosexuality_as_an_insult.html

Just like Joe the Plumber needed to be destroyed, stories magically appeared about her breast implants and her earlier posing for semi-nude photos after she irked the gay-and-lesbian community.

We are going to avoid jumping into the merits of heterosexual vs. gay marriage....that subject has been raging for months and will continue to percolate. The subject here is the prohibitions by a young, beautiful beauty pageant contestant.....not just Miss California.....but any contestant about posing semi-nude or nude.

Earlier this month, we were all treated to reports out of Europe about a Swiss Canton saying "nein" to nude hiking in the Alps....as if this was some horrific crime. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8019766.stm

There is a continuing effort, intentional or unintentional, to portray those who pose in the nude, hike in the nude, garden in the nude, swim in the nude, sunbathe in the nude as freaks of society. And if someone has the audacity to utter opinions that are contrary to political correctness, then the boom gets lowered including charges that (gasp) so-and-so posed in the nude or hiked in the nude etc.

So a nudist's love of nudity has become a weapon?

The whole exercise is very chilling, and threatens the future of nudity and those who enjoy the innocent pleasure of just running around without their clothes.

Pretty soon, the one-party state will be fitting women into their burkas!

Birthplace of Nudity?

In many respects it still is a global sport to stereotype the Germans, mainly because of 12 very unfortunate years (huge understatement) during the 20th Century.....If you need Godiva to tell you why, then you may want to seriously consider slithering back under your rock.

But let's give the Germans credit where credit is due. They are the fathers (and mothers) of Freikoerperkultur or the Free Body Culture, the modern-day nudist movement. This year is the 60th anniversary of the founding of the German FKK association with its 160 clubs and 45,000 members.

Germany's cousins from the cold Victorian-mindset island of the United Kingdom take absolute delight in stereotyping the Germans, including their zeal of running around without clothes. A perfect example is an account in the Times of London about a planned all nude hotel, the Hotel Rosengarten, in Freudenstadt in the Black Forest region of the Vaterland http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/travel/destinations/germany/article6016553.ece?token=null&offset=0&page=1

"Even before the hotel opens strict house rules have been published, among them the stipulations that all guests must be naked at all times, and all must put towels on chairs and loungers before using them," the Times reported. "Lest anyone get the wrong idea, it is also made clear that there is to be strictly no sexual harassment of fellow guests and no smutty behaviour in communal areas. Those who disobey will have to put on the ultimate badge of nudist dishonour — clothing — and leave."

By all means, let's avoid this horrible dishonour or dishonor, depending on whether you speak English or American.

Speaking about Americans, its still tough to get them to let it all hang out even when they are in Europe. When in Germany, do as the.....ah....sorry, no. And that even applies to the ultra-elegant Friedrichsbad in Baden-Baden http://luxury-spas.suite101.com/article.cfm/top_spas_in_baden_baden_germany

Ueber tourist Rick Steves has made a fortune advising Yanks where to go in Europe, and for the most part they listen to him.....but apparently not when it comes to baring all in the spa at Baden-Baden http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/ricksteveseurope/2008350168_websteves04.html

"Since the Roman emperor bathed in the mineral waters of Baden-Baden, this town has welcomed those in need of a good soak," wrote Steves. "And it's always been naked. In the 19th century, it was Germany's ultimate spa resort, and even today the name Baden-Baden is synonymous with relaxation in a land where the government still pays its overworked citizens to take a little spa time.

"I happened to be here when one of my company's tour groups was in town. I told the guide that it was a great opportunity for her group to enjoy the spa. She said, "No one's going. They can't handle the nudity."

"It's long been a frustration for me as a guide — the difficulty of getting Americans into spas with naked Europeans. My first time was with my wife and some German friends — a classy, good-looking young couple. We were swept into the changing area with no explanation. Suddenly they were naked and I felt like the Road Runner just beyond the cliff's edge. Then — we eased up, and got naked. It's not sexy ... simply open and free."

Bingo, Steve! It is simply open and free. Just think we actually could learn something from the Germans....Imagine that.